NE CENTRAL
District No. 5160

Jokes

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.

The women were arguing noisily even in the court.

The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first."

The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.

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I sent my newly licensed 16 year-old son to pick up a pizza. I handed him a $20 bill, a $5.00 coupon and sent him on his way.

About forty minutes later, the boy returned home with the pizza ... and the coupon!

I asked the obvious question, "Why didn't you use the coupon?"

"Dad, I had enough money. I didn't need the coupon."

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Nancy knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, child?"

"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at her, and said,"Nancy, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake. You might need new glasses."

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Potato Prostitute

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute.

How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

You're gonna love it...

It's the one with the little sticker that says....

I - DA - HO


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"Elk Sex"

Two guys are drinking in a bar.

One says, "Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Aw crap..," says his friend, "and I just joined the VFW!"

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